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old school writing

The Damsel got quite a giggle out of these guidelines for authors in 1954:

By Lupe Fernandez

I found this 1954 article about Children’s Literature on a defunct website. Submitted for your edification and amusement.

“How To Write Books for Boys and Girls”

“Always portray the military, politicians and religious figures in a positive way. Remember, these responsible authority figures keep Americans safe against atheists, beatniks and Communists.

“The family in your story should consist of married parents. Divorce has no place in reading material of teens. Broken homes make them nervous and might put unnecessary worries in their heads about whether Mom and Dad are getting along. While many classic stories feature orphans, today’s modern family is more educated and healthy, and orphans are old fashioned characters.

“Dad should always work in an office or to a responsible job like a fireman or a policeman. Fathers should never be an unemployed loafer or a union organizer. Mothers should always be homemakers. Mother’s who work in offices set a bad example for impressionable girls.

“Boy characters should have healthy, manly hobbies like playing baseball, collecting bubble gum cards, and outdoor camping. Girls should like sewing, cooking and talking with other girls about like clothes and boys. Activities that keep boys inside like reading, writing or thinking are not suitable role models for young men. Those are girl activities. On the other hand, too much physical exercise by girl characters would be unrealistic and your reader would lose interest. If your story has a Tomboy, make sure she is not a major character. Make the Tomboy a supporting character who longs to act like a real girl.

“Dress your characters in appropriate clothing. Boys: short sleeve shirts (only puny boys who spend too much time reading in their rooms wear long sleeve shirts), loose, comfortable pants with pockets and Keds sneakers with tied laces.

“Girls: ankle-length skirts (absolute no pants), Mary Jane shoes (only girls with loose morals wear high heels unless attending special occasions like a funeral or a wedding), hair tied in a pony tail or neatly trimmed.

“Language is very important. As boys and girls are often not in control of their feelings, they make many exclamations of surprise.

“Appropriate phrases:
‘Jeepers!’
‘Golly!’
‘Holy Moley!’

“Inappropriate phrases:
‘Crazy man!’
‘What a gasser!’
‘Kookie!’

“Never show a boy and a girl holding hands unless accompanied by an adult or riding in a hay wagon with other boys and girls.

“Never have a girl romanced by a foreigner, especially greasers, scratch-backs, potatoes, pachucos, fruitpickers, or braceros.

“If your story is a crime mystery, make sure your youngsters deal with bunco artists, robbers, or counterfeiters. Never put your youngsters in peril with murderers or social deviants.

“Everybody likes a good ghost story, but stories with supernatural happenings should be confined to misunderstood blithe spirits, college fraternity pranks or escaped convicts in disguise.

“If you follow these tips, your story is sure to be a delight to boys and girls everywhere, and stand the test of time just like the classics you read as a youth.

“End your story with a good, hearty laugh at the dinner table. Perhaps, Skippy the family dog runs through the house chasing Fluffy, the neighbor’s cat.

“These are a few tips for a good writing and wholesome reading.”

The Damsel would just like to add that she is grateful for haywagons.

  • http://mrsdresses.com Megan

    Awesome. Hubs and I are actually Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew fanatics for the "edification and amusement" they provide.

  • http://blueandshoe.blogspot.com Lisa Wood Bingham

    I love it! Would that life were that simple…but surely not so restrictive. Are we positive this is real? By the way, I must have very loose morals.

  • http://mygreenambitions.blogspot.com Nikol

    This part made me laugh out loud:

    "Everybody likes a good ghost story, but stories with supernatural happenings should be confined to misunderstood blithe spirits, college fraternity pranks or escaped convicts in disguise."

    An escaped convict is a comforting way to explain a supernatural happening.

  • Tery Binkerd

    Oh my heck

  • Erica

    That was hilarious!

  • http://emeraldlens.info Lady Ozma

    I better go edit all my WIP right now! HEHE Damsel, this was a true gem!!! :) LOVE it!

  • http://www.justdevinestyle.blogspot.com Tara

    Yeah watch out for the Convicts disguised as ghosts! Ha Ha! thanks for sharing the laugh!

  • Sharon Cohen

    Wonderful Post! I absolutely MUST share it with everyone I know. If this defines Old School (and I think that it does) then I really, really am Old School. The writers I read as a child most surely followed these guidelines or something like them.

  • http://m-gray.blogspot.com M. Gray

    Oh my goodness! I have not seen these before! Wow! We've gotten so liberal nowadays. Thanks for sharing! Golly, gee! What a great post! ;)

  • http://cam-kassie.blogspot.com Kassie

    "Activities that keep boys inside like reading, writing or thinking are not suitable role models for young men"
    Yes, our young men should definitely NOT think… lol

    Thanks for sharing

  • http://www.faeofwindandwater.blogspot.com Ani

    Yes, no thinking for those boys. Leave it to the girls! *evil wink* And now we know why the “behind every great man is a great woman” adage/cliche/whatever is there. He needs her to do the thinking for him.

  • http://teachmetowalk.blogspot.com Andrea

    What a gasser!

  • Milissa

    That kind of made me sad. Putting people in boxes to what they should or shouldn't be. How awlful is the reference that girls shouldn't be romanced by greasers, scratch-backs, potatoes, pachucos, fruitpickers, or braceros. I don't even know what all of those are, but I can tell they are racist.

    I am happy to be living in a more open age.

  • http://sunnysday1941.blogspot.com Sunny Day

    Who's up for using these guidelines for writing a best selling novel today? Who knows, it might make the best seller list – or not. I remember the TV programs of my day and they must have been using these as guidelines for their programs. Those were the days. If only TV and movies today would show us the "correct" way to live today instead of all the programs that portray the world as it really is, who knows the world might actually change, she said unbelievingly.

  • http://gourmified.blogspot.com Gourmified

    This makes me smile and wish we could rewind to simpler days…except the part about not wearing heels and pants. I couldn't handle being without either of those!

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/edenwild Lisa C

    Haha, I chuckled all the way through this. Is this for real?

    I read some books like that when I was in elementary school, but by the time I was in junior high I advanced to more interesting reads.

  • Nat Alea from OK

    that was too funny!!! It reminded me of all the Trixie Belden and the Bobsy Twins books I used to read!!! Thanks for the writing tips.

  • http://muumsmusings.blogspot.com Muum

    I cannot resist – what a gasser! lol
    Muum´s last [type] ..Finishing up Iris week month

  • http://temporaryinsanitybykym.com Kimberly

    Bwahahahah! LOVE it!

  • http://thechocolatechipwaffle.blogspot.com/ Terresa Wellborn

    Hey, we grew up with those exact Hardy Boys books. I think they were either gifts to us, or my mom's from when she was a little girl, not sure.

    Love This!

  • http://blog.annettelyon.com Annette

    Oh, how I wish you were kidding.

  • http://dorothymanning.blogspot.com Sugadot

    Wow so funny!

  • http://www.kansascityblueprints.com/about/ Wilfredo Traber

    Thank you for sharing this. We’re always looking for smart resources to share with clients and my coworkers, and this article is absolutely worth sharing!

  • Jenny

    Isn't it great how all the politicians and religious figures keep Americans safe against atheists, beatniks and Communists? Those beatniks scare me.

  • Mary

    Jeepers! What a gasser!

    Gotta protect those kiddos from the beatniks.

  • Rocky Mentos

    Golly Gee! I cannot wait to put this in front of my appropriately dressed , perfectly coiffed, gramatically correct, family sound kiddos in my inner city school!!!

  • http://organicmamma.blogspot.com Nicole

    Yeah, those stories really "stood the test of time." I'm glad some things have changed!!!

  • deila taylor

    loved it–so funny. now let's hear what they want for today!

  • The Golden One

    Golly jeepers, Damsel. I would hate to be picked up by a potato or a back-scratcher . . . huh? Loved it!

    • the_damsel

      ain't it great? Did you ever read any Nancy Drew when you were a kid?