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You’ve seen recipes before that say “Best Chocolate Chip Cookie Ever.” You’ve seen those words more than once, as a matter of fact. Perhaps you’ve even seen so many recipes like this that the words no longer have meaning.

Just stop right there. Take a deep breath. Because this recipe is the one, the only, most magnificently amazingly outrageously yummy cookie to ever pass between the Damsel’s teeth.

This is the cookie that her Knight in Shining Armor frequently makes, and this is the one that made the Damsel swear off baking cookies herself. What is the point, she asks. Why make mediocre cookies, or even cookies that are merely good, when someone else in the household is making cookies that are ridiculously delicious?

Now, mind you, this is a hearty cookie. Don’t go comparing it to fluffy little lemon bars or other tea party fare. This ain’t no sissy cookie. If you are male and bake this up, don’t worry, your man card is totally safe. This cookie is almost a meal in itself…add a glass of milk and you’ll be in heaven, be you boy or be you girl.









Soften the butter if necessary. Cream butter, shortening, and sugars together with your manly mixer, fitted with a whisk attachment if possible. (Quantities below) Add baking soda and salt by sprinkling them in while the whisk is whisking. If you cooperate and do this the Damsel’s way, you don’t have to bother with that pesky sifting. Add the eggs and the vanilla, and beat well. Add flour, mix again. (The Knight confesses he puts in all the ingredients up to the flour pretty much at once, then stabs the “volcano” setting on the mixer, and calls it good) Switch to a dough hook or paddle, or whatever your mixer requires for stiff stuff, and add the oatmeal and chocolate chips. You could use clean hands if you have a sissy mixer.









Roughly chop the pecans. You could use walnuts, and nothing bad will happen. You can even leave the nuts out altogether, but don’t let the Damsel hear about it.









Add the nuts to the mixer and combine. If you aren’t chicken to eat a little cookie dough with its wicked raw egg, this is the moment.









Make manly scoops of dough–golf-ball size isn’t quite big enough–and drop onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 11 minutes and check them…they should be golden overall, with light brown edges, and no gooshy middles. The old rule about slightly underbaking toll-house type cookies doesn’t apply here.









The Recipe:

  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 2/3 cup shortening
  • 3/4 cup soft butter
  • 1 heaping teaspoon salt
  • 1 heaping teaspoon baking soda
  • 3 teaspoons vanilla
  • 3 large eggs
  • 2 cups flour
  • 4 cups old fashioned rolled oats
  • 2 cups chocolate chips
  • 4 cups roughly chopped pecans

Bake at 375 degrees for 11 minutes or till done.

Makes 36 large cookies, depending on how much dough you eat. 🙂

It is the Damsel’s wish that you eat these as soon as possible. Worth the Weight.

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  • Making these soon for the manly cookie eaters in our home…

    • thedamselindisdress

      Hope you love them! We sure do.

  • Sarah

    Mmmm. I was just thinking today, “I need to find a chocolate chips/oatmeal cookie recipe,” and viola – here they are. Thanks!

    • thedamselindisdress

      Thanks! Let me know how you like them.
      Margot (The Damsel)

  • I have no blood relation to the Damsel, and by Odin, when it comes to these cookies–she speaks the truth.

  • Sande Nascimento

    I am a taster and a believer!

  • Tiffanie

    I’ve been looking for a manly cookie, and with Chris Miller’s endorsement, my man might be a believer. Very excited to make these!

    • thedamselindisdress

      Let me know how you like them!
      Margot (The Damsel)

  • Kassandra Moore

    I made some and they are delicious! I did modify them slightly: I used walnuts (because I have no pecans), I used pb instead of shorting (because any oatmeal cookie w/out ppb is just wrong to me), and I added in some toffee bits along with the chocolate chips.


    I had to stop myself from eating the dough (not that I didn’t eat the dough, I did. I ate a lot of it). Thank you so MUCH for the recipe!

    And I now know why you said “tornado setting”…

    • thedamselindisdress

      Yay! This made my day!

      Margot (The Damsel)