Because cheap pillows, like the ones you buy at Wal-Mart for $5.99, won’t weather the process in a way you’d desire. They’ll come out looking like nothing you’d want to put your head on…lumpy and strange. Who wants to put their face on lumpy and strange?

But a nice, high quality pillow can be washed, right in the washing machine. Yes, even feather pillows–especially feather pillows.

Check the pillows first to see if there are any tears in the ticking. Wash two at once if you can, to balance the machine. You don’t need much detergent. Set it for a gentle cycle if possible. Then, to dry them, put them in the dryer with some clean tennis balls. They’ll refluff the pillows nicely.

Or you can even use clean tennis shoes if you don’t have any tennis balls handy. What is it about tennis items and pillows?

If your pillows have a musty smell, Grandma would tell you there’s nothing better than setting them outside in the sunshine for a while. And you know about pillow covers, right? They look sort of like pillow cases, except they have a zipper closure instead of being open on one side like a pillow case. Pillow covers give you a nice extra layer of protection. Zip them on, then put a pillow case over that. Then you can wash the pillow cover and case very easily, whenever you feel your pillow has hit its drool limit.

The time table for fastidious folks is to wash the pillow case weekly, the pillow cover every other month, and the pillow itself once or twice a year. There you have it.

But before the lesson, here’s another idea to consider. It’s called “No-Linen-Closetology”, from the book  It’s Here…Somewhere by Alice Fulton and Pauline Hatch. This mind-bending idea is to have just two sets of sheets for any bed in your house. One set is on the bed, the other is stored flat in between the mattress and box springs. The plan is, you wash your sheets and then put them right back on your bed. The stored set is for emergencies. Thus, you need no linen closet. Extra blankets and pillows will need a home somewhere else, in storage boxes under the bed or another likely place.

Before you start hatin’ on this, think about what a whole extra closet could do for your home organization. It’s just an idea…give it some thought.

Now then. Folding those pesky fitted sheets.

The Damsel enlisted a sprog to help with these pictures because there was just no way.

Hold the sheet lengthwise with a hand in each fitted corner.

Slip one fitted corner over the other.

Lay this down carefully, and do the same with the other two corners.

Now pick them up, two nested corners in each hand, looking to see that the sheet hanging between isn’t twisted. Slip one hand over the other, so that now all four corners are nested inside each other.

Lay the sheet on a flat surface, the four corners at the upper left. The corners will make the top and left edges lap over the main part of the sheet. Slide your left hand up into the four corners to make it square, and flatten and straighten the whole thing into a rectangle.

Now fold the top edge down a third, and then a third again,

Making a nice flat rectangle.

Fold one more time.

And you’re done! This sweet little bundle will take up a lot less space than the rolled-up-in-a-ball way.

Extra credit: Some people like to put both the top and fitted sheets inside one of the pillowcases for that bed, making a neat little packet that keeps everything together. (Put any other pillowcases for that bed inside too.)

Bonus points: There are a couple of good YouTube videos showing this method if the still pictures aren’t clear for you. Here’s one: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5k9nWcuFc]

Why?

Grandma had a perfectly good explanation, but first let’s ask another question.

What the heck are hospital corners?

They are simply a way of folding and tucking in bed linens. Apparently they were named “hospital corners” because nurses made up beds in hospitals this way, but you don’t have to be sick to enjoy a nicely made bed.

Grandma explained that just cramming the sheets under the mattress wouldn’t work as well. The sheets would come untucked more easily, and there really is something cozy about a bed that’s made right. Besides, once you learn how, you’ll see it’s so simple and easy, it hardly takes two seconds longer than cramming.

First, smooth out the item you’re putting on the bed, whether it’s a top sheet, a blanket, or what-have-you. Make sure it’s positioned right on the bed before you begin. Shortsheeting, another ancient skill, isn’t in today’s class.

The Damsel usually thinks of hospital corners as something she does to sheets, but today she’s using an ancient bedspread, made back at the dawn of time, because it showed up better in the photos.

Tuck the end of the bed in nice and smooth, letting the sides hang.

On the hanging side, grasp the edge of the bedspread/sheet/thing about 12-18 inches from the end of the bed. Pull straight up, forming a sort of triangle. Just lay it there.

Leaving the triangle thing still lying across the top, tuck in the part that hangs down on the sides.

Pick up the triangle thingy, pull it straight down, making a diagonal line.

Now just tuck in that last bit. Now, doesn’t that look nice?

It’s kind of like wrapping a gift to yourself. It’s so much nicer to crawl into a bed with fresh, smooth sheets than a crumpled heap of blankets. As a matter of fact, the Damsel feels a nap coming on.